His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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