I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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