I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize