she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
