we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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