I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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