I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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