I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
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but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
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I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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