I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
