every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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