thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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