Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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