nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
