I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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