Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
