i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
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The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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