So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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