Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
