She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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