Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
