He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
