i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize