Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
