i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
