I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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