I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize