dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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