He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
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What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
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Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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