I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
