My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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