i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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