So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hippo gnu deer
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
