The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize