i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
