This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
