yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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