dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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