This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
