You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
