They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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