I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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