I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
