i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
