Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
