This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
