So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you traded sex for a burrito?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize