Kiss
Puke
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
