And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
