Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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