He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
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Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
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My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?