She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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