Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm an idiot
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
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I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
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I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.