My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.