TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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