we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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